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   Home  > Tips

Talents and shortcomings

If I'm like most, I have moments when I seem to fall short in giving what I think my partner deserves. Maybe I try to make up for my shortcomings by making extra efforts in other areas. For example, I feel less intelligent than my partner, so I spend time and money trying to look more attractive. Or I feel like a klutz at cooking, so I pour my efforts into pampering my partner in other ways to compensate.

When I take an all-or-nothing approach to my talents, I end up depending more and more on my partner's praise, or other positive reactions, to boost my sense of self-worth. Unwittingly, I place increasing pressure on my partner to be weak in areas that I feel strong, and end up setting invisible boundaries that they dare not cross.

My talents are wonderful gifts to be explored, but I don't have to do everything well. Whatever I'm capable of is good enough. I may not know how to cook a gourmet meal, but I can certainly handle the salad. Or I may not know a hard disk from a slipped disk, but I can still write a letter on my computer.

Just for Today

Today I'll look at how many activities I don't share with my partner, because I'm afraid I don't do them well enough.

Instead of wishing I was better at things, I'll accept that what I can do is good enough, and see what new laughter and play we can both have, simply by sharing more of the things we are wonderful klutzes at!

Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare think. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tip by Bernd Hansen of Relationshipweb

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Copyright, Bernd Hansen, used with permission.

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