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   Home  > Tips

Neglect kills

Suppose a young couple buy a new car and drive it home with great pride and pleasure. But it lives in the road outside their house, and soon the dirt of passing traffic, and the rain, takes some of the shine off. The children leave junk on the floor, and no one gives it a good wash. Rust develops, and after a year that smart new car has lost its glamour. Why? Not because there was anything wrong with it, but simply through neglect. No one looked after it, so it deteriorated.

Friendship is like that car. It needs attention, care, running repairs - apologies, explanations, regular use and a 'top-up', such as a special meal or fun time - to keep it in good working order. We arrange the necessary services for the car, the mower and the washing machine. We repaint our walls and repair leaking windows. We hang new curtains and vacuum the carpets. Yet we do nothing for our own most treasured possession - our marriage, our friendship. That friendship is alive, but it can't stay that way unless we look after it. Let's do all we can to help it to thrive.

Neglect kills. It kills children, animals, plants, even machinery - and it kills marriages.

DIY Beware of neglect! Ask each other: What kind of top-up do we need?


  • A coffee and chat weekly/daily?
  • A meal out together monthly?
  • One early bed and cuddle weekly/
  • A special celebration for our anniversary?
  • An away-break on our own?
  • A catch-up in the evenings after work?
  • An unexpected gift?
  • A fun time to look forward to, eg. a film?
  • Do we need to carry out any running repairs?
  • ( Excerpted by permission from Hang on I need to say SOMETHING by Gillian Warren, copyright & published by Gazelle Books, ISBN 1 899746 09 9, retail price 5.99)

    Tip by Gillian Warren

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