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Jealousy is one of the hardest things many relationships have to deal with. Even when it doesn't appear openly, either partner may find themselves struggling to avoid setting off jealousy in the other.

Is jealousy an emotion based on love, or is it a feeling that's triggered more by my fears of not being loved? If it's the latter, maybe it's time to ask myself what I'm really afraid of and why.

Maybe I'm basing part of my relationship on how attractive I am, what I can do for my partner, or how good I "make" them feel. If I am, I'll always be in danger of having my them find someone who is more attractive, or gives them more than I can. Do I really want such a cloud hanging over my head?

If I remember that genuine love involves sharing who I am, not how good I am, I can start seeing what kinds of things I'm doing in my relationship that keep me feeling inadequate. Love is acceptance, not a popularity contest.

Just for Today

Today, if I feel myself getting jealous over a choice my loved one makes, I'll stop and ask myself "why"? In finding the reasons, I'll discover things in my relationship that I've been basing on things other than love and true acceptance.

I'll talk over my feelings with my partner or a trusted friend, and see if I can discover new ways of looking at our relationship that add more love and reduce jealousy.

Jealousy it's the art of injuring ourselves more than others. - Alexandre Dumas

Tip by Bernd Hansen of Relationshipweb

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Copyright, Bernd Hansen, used with permission.

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