Few, if any
relationships, are free from hurtful things that one
partner does to another. If I made a list of all the
unkind words, thoughtless choices, and many other hurtful
things my partner and others have done to me in the past, it
could stretch for miles.
When I think of the way I've reacted to
those hurts, a realization hits me: I've been just as
guilty at times. Even if I felt justified in my actions,
is it fair for me to say that others didn't feel they
were just as justified? How do I know what was truly in
their mind at those times, or what led them to choices
that clearly didn't make them happier, or me?
Returning a hurt with another hurt may
give me temporary feelings of satisfaction, but it
doesn't bring me true happiness in my relationship with
my partner. Yet when I don't pay them back in some way, or
react in anger, it seems like I'm telling them it's ok to
hurt me. It seems very confusing at times.
Just for Today
Haven't I and my partner both suffered
enough hurt in my lives already? Maybe I can't stop my partner
from hurting me or others, but I can stop adding to it
with choices of my own. I need to remember that no one
wins in a war.
Today, I'll let myself have my feelings,
while choosing not to let those feelings result in
harmful choices. I'll remove myself from situations where
my partner is unkind to me, and take better care of myself and
Let it start with me, if nowhere else.
The old law of "an eye for an
eye" leaves everybody blind. - Martin Luther King,Jr.
Tip by Bernd Hansen of Relationshipweb