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Net works for Marriage - the 2-in-2-1 story!

The following article was published in Woman Alive magazine in February 2001:

It's two in the morning, and your best friend has just finished pouring her heart out, sharing the deep pain she is experiencing in her marriage, her fears that she is no longer attractive to her husband, and her hurt that she cannot seem to make him understand! Where do you turn to? Surprisingly, one place may now be the internet, or more specifically www.2-in-2-1.co.uk, "the one place to come to shape, enrich, maintain or repair your marriage". Started just a year ago in National Marriage Week 2000, and enjoying explosive growth, 2-in-2-1 is the largest site in the UK dedicated to the needs of couples whatever their stage, or state, of marriage. "For too long people in pain have not had a ready source of advice and information they could turn to, or a place to share their stories" said co-founder David Percival, "and we saw the internet as a place you can go anonymously at whatever hour to seek the advice and support you need."

Today's couples can access support at every stage of their marriage from starting out on planning for the wedding through to the most trying times of deep crisis. The site is arranged as a small village to aid intuitive navigation, so you'll find help for crises at the Clinic, encouragement and support at the Health Club and so on. The Chapel is the place to go if you are looking for specifically Christian material, whether as a married person or as a minister looking for resources. In each area there are tips, articles, book and video reviews, details of courses and opportunities to join in discussion about all aspects of married life. There are over 200 links to other sites if you want to investigate an organisation or information source further. It's not just the obvious relationship issues such as communication that are covered, but also issues like Premenstrual Syndrome, parenting, making wills, and retirement, to name but a few.

Founders David and Liz Percival, former national executives of the charity Anglican Marriage Encounter say "We were aware of all the work going on around marriage, but we were constantly meeting couples who didn't know where to turn for advice and information. We particularly wanted to reach the younger adult population considering marriage to encourage them to think beyond the honeymoon and be aware that marriages flourish when they are worked at - the internet seemed to be the ideal medium. From the feedback we have had, it is often the case that visitors only have a vague idea of what they want for their marriage, but exploring the site helps them to crystallise their thoughts and seek the support or information that is most appropriate."

"Debbie contacted us with real anguish in her words. It was her second marriage, her husband's first after more than thirty years as a bachelor. They were really struggling to adjust to married life together, and their physical relationship had become the centre of their tensions - a place of deep fear rather than joy. After reading some of the articles on the site, buying some helpful resources, and exchanging e-mail with the 2-in-2-1 team, they began to identify the issues they had to deal with, and made a joint decision to seek counselling help locally. They found the key to communicating and beginning to understand their individual needs and behaviour".

Some of the feedback is sad and poignant like the visitor who wrote "Your marriage first aid kit is very helpful. I only wish I had discovered it sooner, maybe then my marriage could have been in better shape than it is now."

Much of the marriage support in this nation is carried out by small charities, who do vital work but struggle to make themselves known. David Brown of The Marriage Agenda points out that one of the benefits is "that smaller marriage organisations can make their own specific resources available to a much wider field, especially those who are unable to create or manage their own web site."

2-in-2-1's partners are essential, be they small or large - the site itself cannot answer every question couples may have, but it can put them in touch with those who can help. As Tony Dady of the Catholic Centre for Healing in Marriage comments, "We feel we have been able to add our unique combination of teaching, prayer and counselling given on a residential basis to the choices available at 2-in-2-1."

John Kerr, with 20 years of experience with Marriage Review, has sensed for some time that God has been developing marriage ministries each having a different function, but with a single purpose. "It is essential to understand what we are each called to do and to convey that to others; 2-in-2-1 is a key part in that process. The site also opens up the potential of meeting with a whole section of society which use the net. Christians need to be out there."

The world and society have changed in the last 50 years - the support networks for married couples used to be the extended family and the local community, but now most of that has gone. Today's couples need to be able to find the best role models, advice and resources to help their marriages flourish - 2-in-2-1 provides that network of support to the internet generation of married couples.


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