Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


In association with:

Marriage books and much more from Amazon.co.uk

Celebrate your marriage with flowers!

Set up your Wedding Registry!

Marriage and divorce advice from justask.org.uk

Take our Demographic survey

Family Friendly Site

   Home  > Marriage Clinic > Pressures of Being a Parent > Tips

New baby?

Waddling around

I remember feelings of apprehension as I waddled back from work one day heavily pregnant with our first child. It wasn't the birth I was fearful of, it was how I was supposed to make room to love another human being. I felt very close to my husband. I liked the way our relationship was and I wasn't sure I wanted it to change. Would I have enough love and attention to go round?

Sleepless nights

There is nothing to compare with wonder and awe we felt as we held our first son in our arms. We felt close, excited, full of joy. Later reality set in, when we discovered he was going to be one of those babies that didn't sleep. My husband did all he could to help, pacing the floor at dead of night, but we were soon ragged from sleepless nights. There seemed no space for "us", certainly no energy for much physical affection and I felt so drained I just wasn't interested in sex.

More robust than we thought

It's at times like this that friends and family come into their own, doing the shopping or taking Baby out for walks so Mum can grab some sleep, giving wise advice (in moderation) to help the new parents along. Perhaps the best advice to us as over anxious parents was to be told that parents really need to take care of themselves and not lose sight of their own relationship. The new baby was more robust than we seemed to think, and we needed to pace ourselves and not give in to every one of the incessant demands little ones can have.

A way through

My chief fear was never realised. Gradually life settled down and I discovered that somehow, miraculously there was plenty of love to go round after all. Our relationship did change and this was just the first of many pressures that proved to be opportunities to grew closer rather than apart.

So if you're struggling with the adjustment of a new baby in your relationship, take heart, there is a way through. One of you may not feel confident changing nappies or handling the baby. Remember to encourage each other, rather than to criticize. Don't be proud, accept any help that is offered, get plenty of rest and try and find new ways of making time for each other, even if at first it's just a little note saying "I love you!", slipped into the packed lunch or amongst a pile of clean nappies. Telling each other how you feel about the changes going on can be so important, and remember to listen and accept what your partner is saying is real for them. You may not always be able to solve the issues they face, but you can at least reassure them that you understand and care, and often that's all that is needed.

Tip by Kate


Bookmark and Share
Printer Friendly
More From Kate

Related
- When You Lose The One You Love
- Becoming a Parent-in-law - a life transition
- When a Mother Leaves Work
- Younger Wonders
- Keep Talking with Your Children

Hot Picks
- 6th National Relationship Education Conference
-
- Take the Couple Check-up!
- Marriage first aid
-
- Marriage help for friends
- Deepen your love & marriage

Discuss
- Marriage Help
- Marriage news from around the world
- Coffee Shop Chat - have some fun!!
- Marriage Problems - ask for help!
- Visit the Index


 2-in-2-1 Today
Take our Couple Checkup - put your relationship on strong foundations by checking out the strengths and growth areas!
Difficulties communicating? - 55 cards to improve your couple communication
What people say about 2-in-2-1 - we thrive on your feedback!
Couples Wanted!! - for TV and press enquiries - tell your story!
Cyber sex and Internet addiction - is the internet threatening your marriage??

Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer Privacy Statement