Romance and Love-making

By Charmaine Saunders

Creating Mood

A romantic mood can be created by combining various components but the key ones are music, setting and feeling.

The best music for romance is neutral and unobtrusive. It should not dominate or be very specific, for example, it's better to have background music than a favourite artist who will distract you from each other. At the end of the evening, it might be better if you can't remember what record was playing! Soothing, pleasant and anonymous - they're the key elements. Music has the power to whisk us away like no other art form really can, and it is tremendously relaxing so what better way to create the right mood?

Setting

The setting for romance is vitally important. Whilst sex is sometimes more exciting in inappropriate and awkward places, this is not true of romance. The more luxurious and comfortable the physical setting, the more lovers relax and this makes for better sex. If you're uncomfortable, you want to get it over with but for prolonged and pleasurable love-making (which doesn't have to be all intercourse, by the way), a soft bed or couch, satiny covers and huge, fluffy cushions are the order of the day.

Take some trouble over the planning for the evening. Be aware of colours. Some are more soothing than others, like blue, and some are more passionate, like red. Design a setting that expresses what you want for the evening. Burn incense or spray an expensive perfume around, surround the room with flowers in fancy arrangements or just sprinkle rose petals on the bed, leave some small gifts for your partner in hidden places. Just make the whole experience an adventure. It's not what you do that's important or how much it costs, but the caring that goes into the preparation.

Feelings

Finally and most importantly, feelings. There are firstly the feelings that you come into the room with. You may be a long-time married couple, newlyweds or practically strangers, so those feelings will vary, but there will also be new feelings CREATED during the evening and those are the ones you can enhance and expand on. You know how gentleness is a vital factor. As I've indicated before, romance cannot be hurried. Everything that happens during the time spent together needs to unfold at its own pace, so don't force anything. Enjoy every minute of the journey.

There may be some tension at the beginning and that's where the tips for relaxation come in handy. Feelings cannot flourish if lovers are tense, or the relationship awkward.

Once a romantic mood is created, there are many other ways to enjoy each other and further indulge the senses, apart from sexual intercourse. My suggestions may be additions, alternatives or afters. It's up to you. So many people just make love and then go straight to sleep or get out of bed without exploring the hundreds of pleasurable extras that are available. There are plenty of good books around that will tell you how to put more variety into your sex life. In this article, I'm more interested in the smorgasbord of activities that can surround or even sometimes replace the sex act. This romantic and sensual aura doesn't have to accompany love-making every time, in fact, it's probably more enjoyable as an occasional treat.

Okay, so what else can we do?