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   Home  > Books

The Sex-Starved Marriage: The Couple's Guide to Understanding Mismatched Sexual Desire and Boosting

By Michele Weiner Davis


This book chronicles what happens to marriage when one spouse is desperately sexually dissatisfied and the other spouse is unwilling to consider his or her partner's feelings. Sex isn't the only casualty; intimacy on every level simply ceases making infidelity or divorce an all too real threat.

In a straight-shooting, sometimes politically-incorrect manner, Weiner-Davis urges both spouses to get outside themselves and start behaving in ways that makes true intimacy a real possibility. In the process, she debunks the myths that women have a corner on the low libido market, and that sexual desire is something that just happens. This is a must read for couples struggling with a desire gap.

Michele therapist and Oprah regular Davis offers a frank and reassuring guide for couples struggling with the "desire doldrums." It's been estimated that one-third of couples face issues of low desire, the impact of which is felt beyond the bedroom: "Unsatisfying sexual relationships," Davis writes, "are the all-too-frequent causes of alienation, infidelity and divorce." Unfortunately, libidos are rarely equal; most marriages have a low-desire spouse and a high-desire spouse.

Davis offers advice for both, bolstered by numerous examples of how that advice has worked for couples she's encountered during her two decades as a marriage counselor. Court your partner the way he or she wants to be courted, Davis tells high-desire spouses; for low-desire spouses, sometimes the best idea is (to borrow a line from Nike) to "just do it." Her "field-tested" tips are sensible rather than earth-shattering-talk openly, be kind, commit to making a change for the better and! set concrete, attainable goals-but in the hard-to-talk-about realm of sex, very welcome indeed.

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