The Walkaway Wife
By Michele Weiner-Davis of Divorce Busting
you know that of the over one million marriages that will end in divorce
this year in the USA, two thirds to three quarters of those divorces will be filed
for by women? What is this so-called, "Walkaway Wife" syndrome all
the early years of marriage, women are the relationship caretakers.
They carefully monitor their relationships to make sure there is enough
closeness and connection. If not, women will do what they can to
try to fix things. If their husbands aren't responsive, women become
extremely unhappy and start complaining about everything under the sun...
things that need to get done around the house, responsibilities pertaining
to the children, how free time is spent and so on. Unfortunately,
when women complain, men generally retreat and the marriage deteriorates
years of trying unsuccessfully to improve things, a woman eventually
surrenders and convinces herself that change isn't possible. She
ends up believing there's absolutely nothing she can do because everything
she's tried hasn't worked. That's when she begins to carefully map
out the logistics of what she considers to be the inevitable, getting a
she's planning her escape, she no longer tries to improve her relationship
or modify her partner's behavior in any way. She resigns herself
to living in silent desperation until "D Day." Unfortunately, her
husband views his wife's silence as an indication that "everything is fine."
After all, the "nagging" has ceased. That's why, when she finally
breaks the news of the impending divorce, her shell-shocked partner replies,
"I had no idea you were unhappy."
even when her husband undergoes real and lasting changes, it's often too
late. The same impenetrable wall that for years shielded her from
pain, now prevents her from truly recognizing his genuine willingness to
change. The relationship is in the danger zone.
you are a woman who fits this description, please don't give up.
I have seen so many men make amazing changes once they truly understand
how unhappy their wives have been. Sometimes men are slow to catch
on, but when they do, their determination to turn things around can be
astounding. I have seen many couples strengthen their marriages successfully
even though it seemed an impossible feat. Give your husband another
chance. Let him prove to you that things can be different.
Keep your family together. Divorce is not a simple answer.
It causes unimaginable pain and suffering. It takes an enormous amount
of energy to face each day. Why not take this energy and learn some
new skills and make your marriage what you've wanted it to be for so long?
you're a man reading this and your wife has been complaining or nagging,
thank her. It means she still cares about you and your marriage.
She's working hard to make your love stronger. Spend time with her.
Talk to her. Compliment her. Pay attention. Take her
seriously. Show her that she's the most important thing in the world
your wife is no longer open to your advances because she's a soon-to-be
walkaway wife. Don't crowd her. Don't push. Be patient. If you demonstrate you can
change and she still has eyes... and a heart, you might just convince her
to give your marriage another try.