Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

CDs / Videos

Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us


Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet

In association with:

Marriage books and much more from

Celebrate your marriage with flowers!

Set up your Wedding Registry!

Marriage and divorce advice from

Take our Demographic survey

Family Friendly Site

   Home  > Articles

How Do I Know if Iím in Love?

By Joe Beam

What is this thing called love?

Love is a feeling you feel when you feel you're feeling a feeling you never felt before.

Sounds profound, doesn't it? I quoted it for years until I thought about the first time I received an electric shock. That was a feeling I'd never felt before, but I'll guarantee you it wasn't love!

The problem with the word love is that we use it to apply to so many emotions or situations that we sometimes don't know what it means. So what is it? What is this thing called love?

Dr. Robert Sternberg at Yale University probably defines it best. He says that love consists of three components: 1) decision/commitment; 2) intimacy; and 3) passion. When all three strongly exist in our feelings for another person, he says that we feel consummate love for that person.

What do these components mean?

  • Decision/Commitment has both a short-term and long-term dimension. The short-term dimension occurs when we consciously decide that we love someone. The long-term dimension occurs when we commit to maintain that love. Interestingly, some evolve into commitment without ever consciously deciding to do so.
  • Intimacy means closeness, connectedness, warmth, and bondedness. It has to do with understanding each other, accepting each other, and having open and intimate communication with each other.
  • Passion is physical attraction, sexual desire, and other strong emotional attraction to another person.

These three components of love were recognized in the time of Jesus. Commitment corresponds to agape found in passages like Matthew 5:44. Intimacy corresponds to philia found in passages like Titus 2:4. And Passion corresponds to eros. Dr. Sternberg didn't find anything new in his research; he simply quantified how these components measure love.

So what does this mean to you?

In this article
- What is this thing called love?
- So what does this mean to you?

Bookmark and Share
Printer Friendly
More From this author

More Articles
- What makes people fall in love?
- Partners News No 2 - January 2000
- Seven steps to marital Ecstacy
- Partners News No 1 - October 1999

Hot Picks
- 6th National Relationship Education Conference
- Take the Couple Check-up!
- Marriage first aid
- Marriage help for friends
- Deepen your love & marriage

- Marriage news from around the world
- Coffee Shop Chat - have some fun!!
- Marriage Problems - ask for help!
- Visit the Index

© 2000, Joe Beam. Used by permission.

 2-in-2-1 Today
Take our Couple Checkup - put your relationship on strong foundations by checking out the strengths and growth areas!
Difficulties communicating? - 55 cards to improve your couple communication
What people say about 2-in-2-1 - we thrive on your feedback!
Couples Wanted!! - for TV and press enquiries - tell your story!
Cyber sex and Internet addiction - is the internet threatening your marriage??


Copyright ©1999-2019 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer Privacy Statement