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   Home  > Articles

Managing Conflict

By David & Maureen Brown

Managing conflict

In any relationship conflict will almost certainly enter at some point. Conflict itself is not the problem, but rather how we respond to it.

  1. Choose time and place
  2. Stick only to the point/s in conflict
  3. If things begin to get out of hand, take some ‘time out’ – cup of tea etc. – and agree to continue later
  4. Describe your feelings
  5. Use “I” rather than “you”
  6. Employ ‘reflective’ listening to what is being said
  7. Only one to speak and one to listen at any time
  8. Seek forgiveness and say ‘sorry’
  9. If no immediate agreement can be found, agree on a temporary solution if possible
  10. Review your solution after an agreed period of time – 2/3 days, week etc.

How do you handle conflict?

Your relationship is more important than any issue.

There are always 2 sides to any argument.

  1. How do your parents handle conflict? Are you the same or opposite?
  2. Do you find that you argue most when you are tired or under pressure? If so, what can you do about it?
  3. Do you generally: …give way?…fight to win?… negotiate or compromise?
  4. To reduce the hurt and damage that can be caused, seek to resolve any conflict sooner rather than later.

Conflict is normal in any relationship and learning how to handle it is important.

Never argue in front of your children and resolve disagreements outside of their hearing.

In any conflict remember you two are both on the same side!

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